By Cambridge Who’s Who® Member and Contributing Author Nadia Farooq
I have read many articles about ways to take control of your finances in a downstream economy. Seldom are we comfortable talking about how this economy is impacting our relationships and what steps we can take to bring the love back into our lives. Are you spending your nights with your loved one arguing about the next pending bill that is past due? For those families or relationships in which people are quickly developing a negative love balance along with a negative bank balance, here are a few ways to recharge when it is not so affordable to go on a vacation:
While it is not possible to negotiate a better rate for our relationships, there are surefire ways we can take small steps to bring us closer in times when we need each other’s support the most.
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Biography
Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, president of Love Victory, has been a member of Cambridge Who’s Who since March, 2005. Dr. Wish’s expertise is in journalism, research, writing about women’s love relationships and career development, overseeing small business and management consulting, public speaking and workshops, managing psychological and marriage issues and couples counseling. Dr. Wish also served as a former graduate school administrator and faculty in business and counseling. She has written a book entitled, “Incest, Work and Women: Understanding the Consequences of Incest on Women’s Careers, Work and Dreams” and also numerous articles including fictional articles and poetry. Currently she is working on her second book on women’s relationships, “Strong Women and Love.”
Cambridge Who’s Who expert Dr. LeslieBeth Wish currently holds a doctor of education in human development, work and career management from the University of Massachusetts Amherst (1996); master’s degree in marriage and family therapy from Medical Center, Georgetown University; master of science in social services, clinical studies and management from Bryn Mawr College; master of arts in English from Ohio University and a bachelor of arts in history and English from Carnegie Mellon University. She is a licensed clinical social worker in the states of Maryland and Massachusetts.
Published Articles
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Most of us reach a point when we begin to think that life used to be much easier. Memories of our youth peek in and out of our consciousness and we flash back to what we thought was the best time of our lives. If we’re lucky, age and experience teaches us that is not so. Rather, the knowledge and strength that we gain from enduring adversities allow us to develop a strong sense of self. We are better equipped to face future challenges and more likely to achieve our goals.
I cannot help but look back at my own life, the various adversities I faced and how (by the grace of God) I overcame each stumbling block that presented itself. At the time, I thought each to be an insurmountable obstacle. Now I look back and feel blessed that each hurdle was there to confront me. I have found that being faced with challenges forces us to grow, develop and thrive. I am certainly not an expert on solving problems nor do I propose that I have all the answers. I merely know what I have experienced, how I dealt with it and what worked well for me. Although much time has passed, I believe that the main adversities I have faced continue to plague many women today. I hope that sharing some of my personal experiences will encourage, enlighten or inspire someone who is going through the same or similar circumstances.
Divorce – At the age of 20, I was a divorced and single mother with $240 to my name (hey, at least the next month’s rent was paid!). I realized that the relationship I was in did not have a positive element left to it and was certainly not what I had bargained for or wanted my daughter to grow up in. I refused to let someone drag me and my baby down with them, and I chose to move on to achieve a higher quality of life for both of us. I planned, I plotted and I set goals. Each goal was for the short term and very attainable. Upon achieving an objective, I quickly set another, raising the bar and aiming higher. In deciding which direction to go in, I took a realistic view of myself and evaluated what assets I had and what I needed to acquire in order to get where I wanted to be. Remember that you need to learn to walk before you can run. Keep your focus and your eye on the prize. No whining, no finger pointing, no begging, no crying (ok, maybe just a little, but not in front of anyone). Assess your current situation and create a plan to overcome it.
Working mom and student – In the early 80s, a working single mother came with the stigma of being unreliable and a risk due to having limited resources for child care. Therefore, single working mothers were often associated with unpredictable attendance and/or frequent emergencies. I sometimes felt that I had the scarlet “A” stamped on my forehead. To assure my employer of my dependability, I communicated a plan A, B and C for child care. Starting at the bottom of every position that I was fortunate enough to obtain, it was never enough to be a “good” employee. I was driven to be the best. I was a sponge in each work environment, soaking up every single detail of my job, the company, its make up, opportunities, etc. Taking a class here and a seminar there, watching, listening and studying the particulars paved the way for me to grow. One job led to another; the next one was always a step up. I learned early on never to ask for a raise. My strategy was to take advantage of every opportunity the company had to offer, prove my worth and ensure that I was an asset worth keeping. My appetite was insatiable, yet I sometimes forfeited a higher salary for more experience and vocational training, knowing that it would benefit me in the long run. I felt that every single position I held had a reason and purpose that I could draw from in the future. That feeling rings true to this day.
Finances – Very simple. Prioritize your expenses and live within your means. Want more? Need more? Work more! Take a second job, find a third job or work at home if necessary. Plan ahead. Commit a specific amount on a regular basis to whatever you’re saving for and before you know it, you’ll meet your goal. Have a financial back-up plan. Cut up those credit cards, buy sale items and don’t overspend. I used to think that being rich meant being able to pay all of your bills on time, to go to the grocery store and purchase anything you want without having heart palpitations and to take one vacation per year. I still believe in that theory today!
Love – Isn’t it safe to assume that matters of the heart create a significant amount of turmoil in our lives? Didn’t someone once say, “Better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all?” Love is a continuous lesson in life. Although we may try hard, we may never get all the answers. However, we can learn a lot and have fun in the process. Be true to yourself, and while it’s good to be the willow once in awhile, don’t let anyone break you. The benefit of keeping your life full is that in case love goes out the window, your whole life doesn’t go with it. Sharing your life is a beautiful thing, but remember that sharing is only giving a part of something; not the entire thing. Also keep in mind that the only reason to look back to the past is to learn from your mistakes; otherwise keep facing forward. Keep your focus and you’ll find your next love around the corner.
Adversity is a part of life and we should not fear it for it helps us to define who we are. After all, wouldn’t life be dull if it were perfect?
The Cambridge Who’s Who Contributing Author Program is where Cambridge Who’s Who experts share their valuable knowledge on a wide range of subjects.
If you are interested in sharing your expertise and enhancing your online exposure just as Cambridge Who’s Who Author Jo DeMarco has done, visit the Cambridge Who’s Who Contributing Author Program page to learn more about this exclusive benefit. Do not miss out on this extraordinary opportunity to establish yourself as an important resource in your industry and profession.
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How one life and one choice can change the world.
There isn’t a person alive who would not like to think that their life has made a difference in someone else’s life. We all hope to positively impact our friends, families and maybe even our neighbors and co-workers. The truth is that many of us will never know the full extent or the lasting impression that our smallest actions may have on others.
On July 4th, 2008, I was on the bank of the Charles River in Boston, Massachusetts along with more than 500,000 people celebrating this country’s birthday. This was also the 35th birthday of the Boston Pop’s Fireworks Spectacular and, performing live at the event, were the Boston Pops and Rascal Flatts. As I sat there and listened to music piped through speakers along the Charles, I could not help but wonder, “What would the Founding Fathers think today if they knew what the signing of the Declaration of Independence had accomplished?” More than 200 years later and this country is so much more than it was on that day when nine out of 13 colonies voted in favor of this new democracy. Then I wondered if anyone thought that the Boston Pop’s Spectacular would become this big of an event when it was first held in 1974, attracting not only a large live audience but also the millions of people who tune in via telecast.
It became very clear to me at that moment how much one ripple, even an action as small as a smile, can continue to grow into a wave of change. Who knows where we would be as a country or what our impact on the world would be if those men had not created the Declaration of Independence. Not only did they craft it, but they willingly signed their names and took action toward creating the life they wanted to live. That act has given us a lifestyle that people from around the world want to experience and be a part of.
The purpose of the first 4th of July concert held on the Charles River was to revitalize the concerts at the Esplanade. Today, it is nationally recognized as an iconic event; Arthur Fiedler’s brainchild has turned into a full-scale production that at least one person from each state in the U.S. attends every year. This Independence Day, the band Rascal Flatts was the featured musical guest. Rascal Flatts started out as three guys doing simply what they love – playing music in bars and clubs. There were times, they said, where there were only two people besides themselves at their gigs. Then in the early 2000s, with the release of two albums, their lives changed forever. They are now multi-platinum recording artists who live their dream everyday and recognize that the life they live is possible because of the fans who support them and their music. The fans, in turn, are impacted through their music and lyrics in ways that the band may never know.
You and I may not play as significant of a role to such a large population of people as those who have become famous. However, it is possible for us to do so if we take action. Each person who has made a strong impression had a dream first and then took steps to realize it. The Founding Fathers decided that we could live in a country with freedom of choice and Rascal Flatts thought that other people would feel something from the music they loved to write and perform. These people started out the same as you and I – with an idea and a dream. The difference is that they took that idea and that dream and made it come to life. We can have the same influence and legacy when we become an agent for change. Be the ripple and stop simply riding the waves created by others.
Today the economy is in the worst shape that it has been in decades. There is an increase in unemployment, gas prices are exorbitant and companies are cutting back. Regardless, there are still people out there reminding us that we can have and become more. Rhonda Byrne’s “The Secret,” Randy Pausch’s “The Last Lecture” and books and lectures by Wayne Dyer all strive to inspire us to live the life we choose. There are companies that have started in dorm rooms and are now making millions, and there are more people who are able to work from home and dedicate more time to family and friends. Yet most of us, while inspired by the stories we read about and see on television, are still living today the same as we did the day before and the day before that.
So how did they do it? What is their secret? I don’t know for certain that anyone can answer those questions because each person has a different path and different challenges to overcome in achieving their dreams. The one thing I do know is that they stopped waiting for next big wave to come along; they stopped depending on someone else to make their dreams come true. They became the ripple and started their own wave that in turn, made more waves and inspired others.
How do you become the ripple? For Mark Zuckerberg, the student-genius behind Facebook, it was turning the idea of students wanting to share information with others into an online business. He stayed focused and worked on making his dream a reality. For Burt and John Jacobs, the guys behind the Life is Good t-shirt company, a few obstacles stood in the way of their goals, but they did not give up. They came up with a winning concept – a character named Jake – and before you know it their dreams were reality.
Is there is a risk in making your own ripple? Of course there is a risk. That holds true for all great things in life. Yet, there is also risk in riding others’ success. That risk may not be as great and we may not even notice it, yet, it does exist. We do not have any control over how the owner of the company that employs us may change. The owner may sell the company or decide that cutbacks are needed. Therefore, there is always a risk.
I am no stranger to creating a ripple, and I am sure that there are many others who have started their own ripples whose impact is yet to be seen. When I was taken from riding a wave that I had been quite successful on to crashing off of it, I realized that I never wanted to jump on someone else’s wave again. My friends and I began rewriting our book and looking for something to inspire us and to remind us to be grateful.
Our quest led us to the idea of creating jewelry that we could purchase for ourselves and our friends, employees or loved ones to say, “Thank you. I am grateful.” We knew that there were people who had read, seen or heard something that had inspired them to pursue and realize their dreams. They would want something to remind them to be grateful for what they have and thank the people who have positively impacted their lives. There, right in front of us, was an opportunity to take action.
Teaming with Jessica Fields, a talented, up-and-coming jewelry designer, we created a line of jewelry called Waves of Gratitude™. The collection includes six individual pendants that represent the many different movements of the ocean. By layering these pendants, which may be worn a bracelet or necklace, we have created a unique and fresh style while holding on to the message of gratitude. We also have a pendant called the Branches of Hope to remind us of where we have been and where we can go. The purpose of the line is to create a tangible symbol of the key elements needed to become a ripple in society. It is a reminder to be grateful, acknowledge that we are not alone, and symbolize that we have done great things and can accomplish our current goals.
There are so many teachers available to us and with today’s diverse media outlets we can access them all very easily. By leveraging these resources, we can become the people we were meant to be. Be the ripple. Create a wave of change for yourself, the people immediately surrounding you and perhaps the world.
The Cambridge Who’s Who Contributing Author Program is where Cambridge Who’s Who experts share their valuable knowledge on a wide range of subjects.
If you are interested in sharing your expertise and enhancing your online exposure just as Cambridge Who’s Who Author Cheryl Nordyke has done, visit the Cambridge Who’s Who Contributing Author Program page to learn more about this exclusive benefit. Do not miss out on this extraordinary opportunity to establish yourself as an important resource in your industry and profession.
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When my business partners and I decided that we wanted to venture into entrepreneurship by starting our own e-commerce business, we knew that there would be so much to learn. We had chosen an industry that we did not have any experience in but a great deal of interest.
It seemed a little overwhelming at times but then I would reflect on every position I had ever held. I thought about what made me successful in those positions and realized that my success had always come from reaching out to the experts in the industry I was working in at the time. If I had a problem or did not know how to do something, as long as I knew how to get the answer, I was okay. I also determined which responsibilities I loved and excelled at and became an expert in those areas. In the areas where I didn’t have an interest, I developed relationships and sought resources to provide me with the skill set I needed to succeed.
Another strategy I learned from numerous mentors was to document and share my knowledge. Following their advice, I became the go-to person in all of my positions. This made me more valuable to my employers and helped me to excel in my career. From the age of 15 at my first job until I started my own business, I never had to look for a job; I was recruited for every position I held.
Breaking New Ground
When my business partners and I made the decision to go into a new business area, the question became, “How do we start a business with no apparent experience?” I soon realized that between the three of us we had generated over $20 million during the last 10 years for other companies. Combined, we had backgrounds in business development, marketing, public relations, customer relationship management and finance. We had more than desire and focus; we had sound experience and knowledge in key business areas. And just as important, we knew that we could learn or find someone who had knowledge and experience in areas we were not familiar with.
My first visit to the bookstore got us started on our business plan. The Internet gave us statistics to analyze the industry. Our stop to the Small Business Development Center enlightened us with the funding obstacles we would face and gave us access to resources we never would have thought of seeking.
Next, we stumbled upon a website called StartUp Nation that takes a completely new outlook on starting a business. First you develop your life plan and then analyze the life you want before even considering writing a business plan. The website has a blog, forum and newsletter area – all of which offer a wealth of information.
We then took a trip to our local county’s Economic Resource Center, which provided us with even more information on preparing a business plan. At this point, the cost for all our outside informational resources was zero dollars.
Another great online resource was http://www.gobignetwork.com/. This website allowed us to connect with vendors through a program called Vendor Seek. This is what we used to find our web developer. We spoke to more than 10 web developers and focused our attention on those specializing in e-commerce. We found a company that has been developing e-commerce-based websites for more than 10 years and offers numerous features necessary to running a virtually seamless and efficient website. In addition to providing a great website, they act as a resource center for setting up our site and structuring our discounts and coupons.
Lining Up Your Team of Experts
When we set out to create jewelry, we were introduced to a designer, Jessica Fields. Jessica has been in the fashion industry for several years – her own high-end line of jewelry is sold in boutiques around the country. Her expertise in the industry and access to manufacturers, packaging companies and design resources has not only set our company apart from others, but has also saved us the time and energy needed to pursue these options on our own.
Other experts and vendors that we used to fill in the gaps in our own business skills included credit card processors and others who were familiar with online businesses. We decided on First Data as our processor and used Authorize.net as the gateway. Both companies have proven to be knowledgeable and efficient in handling the issues we face as an e-commerce business.
Starting a new venture is both exciting and stressful. Just remember that you do not have to be an expert in every area. You simply need to know where to find experts in areas where you lack expertise and how to utilize their knowledge base to build your business. Follow these tips and you will be well on your way to running a successful company:
The Cambridge Who’s Who Contributing Author Program is where Cambridge Who’s Who experts share their valuable knowledge on a wide range of subjects.
If you are interested in sharing your expertise and enhancing your online exposure just as Cambridge Who’s Who Author Cheryl Nordyke has done, visit the Cambridge Who’s Who Contributing Author Program page to learn more about this exclusive benefit. Do not miss out on this extraordinary opportunity to establish yourself as an important resource in your industry and profession.
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Five ways to become an expert in your field.
My father was a carpenter. I grew up constantly hearing friends, relatives and customers sing his praises for being the best in the business. My father frequently needed to inspect jobs or pick up payments in the evenings, and my brother, sister and I often went along with him. Those trips resulted in additional opportunities for us to hear favorable and appreciative raves about his workmanship. One day I asked my father if he was “an expert” carpenter. Surprisingly, he responded that he did not consider himself to be an expert carpenter. I was confused by his answer because I thought being an expert meant that you were the very best in your field and anyone I ever heard reference my father’s work had said that he was “the best.” Being the type of father who would perpetually provide us with the life lessons we would never learn in school, his explanation went like this:
Of all the things my father taught me over the years, this advice has had the greatest impact on my professional life. With that in mind, allow me to make a few points on how to become an expert in your field:
Moreover, if you can look yourself in the mirror and honestly tell yourself that you have done everything possible to be the very best that you can be then that should be all you need. Thanks for teaching and showing me that, Dad!
The Cambridge Who’s Who Contributing Author Program is where Cambridge Who’s Who experts share their valuable knowledge on a wide range of subjects.
If you are interested in sharing your expertise and enhancing your online exposure just as Cambridge Who’s Who Author Jo DeMarco has done, visit the Cambridge Who’s Who Contributing Author Program page to learn more about this exclusive benefit. Do not miss out on this extraordinary opportunity to establish yourself as an important resource in your industry and profession.
For more information on our member executives and professionals, go to www.CambridgeWhosWho.com.